Relational Needs

Relational Needs Assessment

Have you taken the Relational Needs Assessment yet? In less than 10 minutes, find out what your top 3 Relational Needs are!

Get to know the Top 10 Relational Needs


The need for appreciation is met by expressing thanks, praise, or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone's accomplishments or efforts.

"I praise you for remembering me in everything and for holding to the teachings, just as I passed them on to you" (1 Corinthians 11:2).


The need for affection is met by expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as "I love you" or "I care about you."

"And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them" (Mark 10:16).

"Greet one another with a holy kiss" (Romans 16:16).


The need for approval is met by building up or affirming another person, particularly for who the ARE (as opposed to what they DO). It is also met by affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29).


The need for acceptance is met by receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you.

"Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God" (Romans 15:7).


The need for attention is met by conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care. Addressing this need requires us to take notice of others and make an effort to enter into their respective worlds.

"But that the members of the body may have the same care for one another" (1 Corinthians 12:25).


The need for comfort is met by responding with care to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch. Meeting this need requires us to truly hurt with and for another person in the midst of their grief or pain. 

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matthew 5:4).

"The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God" (2 Corinthians 1:3,4).


The need for encouragement is met by urging others to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals, and by stimulating them toward love and good deeds.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds" (Hebrews 10:24).

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up" (1 Thessalonians 5:11).


The need for respect is met by valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. 

"Honor one another above yourselves" (Romans 12:10).

"Show proper respect to everyone" (1 Peter 2:17).


The need for security is met by establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm. This process involves mutual expressions of vulnerability, the deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. 

"Live in harmony with one another... if it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:16,18).


The need for support is met by coming alongside others and providing gentle, appropriate assistance with a problem or struggle.

"Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ" (Galatians 6:2). 

Key Resource on the Relational Needs

"Top 10 Relational Needs" workbook

In this resource, you’ll learn about the most important intimacy needs and how they can be met. 
You’ll learn what it sounds like to meet the need of attention, what it looks like to show support and how impacting it can be when we meet the need of comfort. 
You’ll learn how God has met these needs for each of us and then discover the rich potential of relationships when we meet these same needs in the lives of one another. 
At the end of each chapter you will find discussion questions and suggestions for practical application – ideas which can enhance any friendship, marriage or family.
  • A great follow up for an Intimate Encounters marriage class or small group.
  • Perfect for partner and small group experiences.
  • Ideal introduction to relationship principles for anyone hoping to deepen the connections among friends, family and ministry settings.