Great Relationships
What do we mean by great relationships?
God created us to need both a relationship with Him and other people. He shows us how to have closeness and connection in all relationships through the "one another" passages of Scripture. The Top Ten Relational Needs were drawn from these Scriptures and are the foundation for building great relationships (See Galatians 6:2, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, and Romans 15:7).
If you want to experience great relationships, learn to live out the Top Ten Relational Needs!
Just as we have physical needs like air, food, and water, and we have spiritual needs like forgiveness, peace, and salvation, we also have certain relational needs. For example: Our needs for attention, respect, appreciation, and encouragement can only be met in relationship with God or other people. The exciting truth is that God meets each of these needs for us, so we have the perfect example of how to give to others.
Which of the Top Ten Relational Needs are most important for you?
Want to know more about the Top Ten Relational Needs?
This workbook dives deep into the Top Ten Relational Needs. You’ll learn how Jesus meets these needs for us, and what it looks like and sounds like to meet the relational needs of others. You’ll discover the rich potential of relationships when we meet these needs for one another.
The Top Ten Relational Needs
Acceptance
SOUNDS LIKE: "I love you just the way you are! I'm your friend, even when you mess up."
When acceptance is someone's top need it is important that they are liked even though they might be a little different. It is also important for others not to try and change or fix them. A person who needs acceptance wants to know that they will be given a second chance.
Affection
SOUNDS LIKE: "You're really special!" or "I love you." or "You mean the world to me."
When affection is someone's top need they might feel especially loved when others give them hugs, kisses, or pats on the back. They might like it if someone puts an arm around them or sits close to them.
Appreciation
SOUNDS LIKE: "You did a terrific job! Thank you for your work, it came out great."
When appreciation is someone's top need they like it when someone recognizes their effort or accomplishment—especially noticing the things they have done and shares word of thanks. They might like to receive certificates or trophies that represent their contribution.
Approval
SOUNDS LIKE: "I'm proud of you! You have such a kind and generous heart."
Approval is different than appreciation. When approval is someone's top need they feel especially loved when someone brags about their character traits—acknowledging them for who they are. Appreciation focuses on what a person has done.
Attention
SOUNDS LIKE: "Tell me about your day." or "How did your test go?"
When attention is someone's top need they like it when someone calls just to say they are thinking about them. This person enjoys it when others enter their world, doing things they like to do. They may also feel loved by individual, undivided listening.
Comfort
SOUNDS LIKE: "I feel sad with you. I'm sorry you are going through this."
When comfort is someone's top need it is very important that others respond to their hurt with appropriate words, feelings, and/or a gentle touch. They feel loved when others sit quietly beside them and are "with them" during a difficult time.
Encouragement
SOUNDS LIKE: "I believe in you. You've got this. Don't give up. I know you can make it!"
When encouragement is someone's top need they like it when others cheer them on towards a goal. They might feel especially loved when someone calls to give inspiration on their big day, or sends a note expressing belief or confidence in them.
Respect
SOUNDS LIKE: "Your ideas are important. What do you think?" or "Will you forgive me?"
When respect is someone's top need it is particularly important for others to communicate that they value the person, their ideas, opinions, and even their schedule. They might like to be given freedom to do a job their way or to be listened to without interruption.
Security
SOUNDS LIKE: "I'm here for you. We're going to work this out. I will keep my promise."
When security is someone's top need it is important to experience trust. It is also important that this person feels safe in their relationships and environment.
Support
SOUNDS LIKE: "I'll be glad to help you. Would you like to try the first step together?"
When support is someone's top need they feel loved when someone comes along side them and provides gentle, appropriate help with a problem or struggle. It means they like it when others are willing to help do the hard things together or teach them how to accomplish a certain task or goal.
